Clucking Hell – The Hen Party

When someone says the words ‘Hen Party’ I envisage phallic objects, drunk women, hideous fancy dress and overly tanned male strippers.

Now if that’s your bag, I have no problem with that but its not mine. In fact, I even tried to casually bypass any mention of a hen do in the hope that the whole saga would pass without anyone noticing. Apart from a sordid couple of years building up an excellent tolerance to tequila and Latin men in Mexico, Spain and Italy I am actually pretty tame.

Oh and a drunken week in Greece 7 years ago, photographic evidence below…

The ‘silent hen do’ plan went out of the window when my cousin announced she would like to organise one for me, which she has proceeded to do with military precision. What I do know is that it’s taking place this weekend and I need to bring a glam dress, a swimming costume and pj’s. What I don’t know is where we are going, what we are doing and if I’m going to be forced to spend the night drinking out of a straw shaped like a penis. On the plus side I get to spend an entire weekend with a group of my favourite people in the entire world.

Am I the minority in wishing women’s pre wedding ritual involved, getting thinner, fitter, more preened and manicured in preparation for the wedding as opposed to getting drunk, wearing a sash, ogling naked men and playing with fake willies!?

(N.B. Dad if you’re reading this, now would be a good time to stop.)

I wonder if the willy theme is some tribal throw back that used to happen to prepare virginal women for the anatomy of a man but let’s be honest there are a large proportion of ladies that this no longer applies to. Yes I’m talking to you! So why haven’t hen do’s appeared to have moved with the times.

I’m sure there is something wonderful and classy (?) planned and it’s probably a great lesson for me in being less of a control freak and practising spontaneity however I will keep you updated. In the mean time feel free to share your happy hen do memories or fears with me below!

Find me here moorjessicarose

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